Choosing the Right Therapist: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Choosing a therapist can feel overwhelming. Consider answering these 3 questions to help you make the choice that's right for you.

I was one of those people that thought therapy is only for crazy people. After all, popular media portrayed it as such and I believed it. It wasn’t until after I went through my own traumatic experience that I seriously considered therapy. After a separation and subsequent emotional downward spiral with shame, grief, and guilt, finding a mindfulness practice helped to steady me. Yet, I felt intuitively that there were things I needed to explore within that I couldn’t quite touch with my meditation practice. This internal inkling led me to make a call to reach out to a therapist. I utilized my employer’s assistance program who paired me with a therapist, and that’s how it all started. I got lucky, as a few years' relationship with her and myself began to bloom. Yet, had I known what I know now, I might have done a bit more research into asking, what kind of therapist is right for me?

The choice to go into therapy is a very personal one. For any first timer, it's natural to feel anxious and scared about it, and that's ok. It’s so hard to even accept ourselves, let alone allow someone else into our most private space… even if they are a professional! For someone else to be a part of your healing journey, you want to make sure that person is qualified and is a right fit. But how do you determine that? Luckily for you, after half a year of interviewing therapists and wellness pros on our podcast, we were given a few pointers to help people navigate this expansive issue.  Here are a few things to ask yourself when considering a therapist.

1. Do you feel safe with this person?

Hugo got personal sharing his own therapy experience and tips to making the right therapist choice for you.

You might get caught up in thinking about what type of therapy you want to go through: traditional talk therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, music therapy, creative arts therapy, there are many different types of therapy out there! You may even be enamored by how many degrees, certifications, or experience the therapist boasts.

In speaking with Hugo Wong, registered music therapist and President of the Hong Kong Music Therapy Association, the relationship with a therapist is what will really help you get the most out of your time. Can this person connect with you on a human level? Can this person create a safe environment for you to be vulnerable and bare your soul? Do you feel seen, valued, and heard during your sessions? Does this person believe in the natural healer within you? 

"Does this person believe in the natural healer in you?"

These are things you will have to see for yourself through an exploratory meeting, or through the first few rounds of therapy. Lastly, just because you choose one therapists doesn't mean you have to stick to that person. You go through different phases in life, and different therapists excel in different contexts. For whatever reason, don’t feel like you have to stick with one therapist. Things change, and that's ok too.

2. Does this person understand your needs?

In our 5th episode of Echoes Among Trees, Ruchi OM talks about her time in therapy as she recovered with depression.

On an enlightening chat with Ruchi OM, founder of Hong Kong’s first magazine on mental health, The Mindtalk, she talked about depression recovery, which included therapy. After a first go around with therapy, getting to learn more about herself, she was better able to articulate what personal growth goals she wanted to pursue. It was important for her, when considering a therapist, that this person understood her needs and would be willing to work together on them. If you already know what it is you want for yourself when going into therapy, let your potential therapist know. Is the person willing to collaborate with you? Find out.

3.  What does the therapist share in common with you?

The therapist's lived experience, culture, ethnicity, sex, values and other characteristics can help make therapy a smoother experience for you. As an Asian-American going into therapy, I was lucky to also be matched with an Asian-American therapist around the same age range who shared similar cultural experiences with me. While there are many qualified therapists out there, it can be difficult for a therapist of a different age range or culture to relate to very specific experiences that people in your generation or culture have lived through. Of course, you want to make sure the therapist is qualified and you feel like this person is a good fit. And, a therapist with a similar background to you can help make your sessions not feel like you have to explain yourself and why certain things in your culture are the way they are.

These are a few questions to ponder when choosing a therapist that will be right for you. In the end, always know you have a choice and that you deserve a therapist that you feel will help you with your therapeutic goals. 

If you’re curious about music therapy in Hong Kong as a way to express and process your trauma in ways words in traditional talk therapy or counseling haven’t been able to, feel free to contact us! 

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